I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
