You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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