just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
