I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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