A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She's the barista slut.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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