sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
