dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Can I color on your dick again?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
