So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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