does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
