Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
