she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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