I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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