It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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