Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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