would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
