4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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