I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
