just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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