She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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