hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Let's get the cat blown out
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
