it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
