News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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