I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
