Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize