Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
