My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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