if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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