i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
