"it" just moved
I need help removing her.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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