Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize