T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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