that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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