i would punch a child for taco bell
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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