I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
