He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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