I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize