let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
