i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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