I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
