I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
