I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize