i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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