i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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