If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
