You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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