My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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