can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
