Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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