R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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