mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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