at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The power of my boobs compel you
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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