Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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