So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
