I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
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In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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