I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
