Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
