Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize